Things That Piss Me Off, Vol.2

Time for my weekly post about what has pissed me off this week.

Let’s get right to it:

#5) Snow in June – Seriously, June 6^th, 2009. This Saturday, we had snow falling from the sky, covering the once green landscape with its frozenness. How is this possible? What did the people do wrong to deserve this? It’s not fall, its SPRING! The weather is supposed to be 20 degrees, and sunny. People are supposed to be on the paths running, and biking. Instead, they are huddled up under blankets, drinking hot chocolate to keep warm. Ok, its not quite that bad. The snow melted as soon as it hit the ground. The temperature was about 8 degrees….but still….

#4) L33t Spk – For those that don’t know what I mean by ‘L33t Spk’, well, it’s Leet Spk for ‘I’m gay and have to abbreviate all my words for text messages and emails, etc.’ This includes anything from ‘LOL’ (laugh out loud), to supplementing letters for words, such as ‘u’ for you or the number 2 instead of ‘to.’ So why does it piss me off? That is so easy! How hard is it to type the letters ‘t’ and ‘o’? Do you really need to turn it into a F’n number that makes it so much more to read? I seriously find it hard on the eyes to read a sentence like ‘LOL, OMG 2 Fun-e!’ Does your retarded little brain work in a way that it really replaces coherent, English words with this Paris Hilton style vernacular? If it does, kill yourself, because you are the people that are going to run this western civilization nose first into the ground, killing innocent victims in the carnage.

#3) Hot chicks with douche bags – It really pisses me off that every time I head out on the streets of Calgary, I see your prototypical hot girls (Ya know, the 7’s and 8’s that make the summertime so goddamned good!) walking hand and hand with some douche bag with a flat peak and tattoo on his neck, or pompous ass with multiple popped collars. How are these fine women attracted to these assholes??? These are the guys that mow the lawn at my condo complex… the guys that cook my wings at the local pub …and somehow they are pulling these good looking girls. What the hell do I have to do?!?!?! This is such a common occurrence that there is a website dedicated to these homos: http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

#2) Ticketmaster – Ah cool, Red Bull X-fighters are coming to town. Tickets are $25. I’d like 2. That will be $75! How the hell does that work? 1 ticket is $25, yet Ticketmaster seems to take their own ‘(In)Convenience Charge’ …and not just a buck here or there…A GOOD 30% of the ticket price goes to Ticketmaster so they can, I dunno, swim in their pools of un-deserved money? Let me give you a tip, Ticketmaster…if you are going to take 30%, why don’t you just build it into the price so that you just show the public a price of $32, and that’s that. Makes more sense, doesn’t it? I feel the same way about PST and GST, but I am sure I will rant about that a few weeks from now!

#1) Sparkles/Glitter – This has been a life-long rant of mine…When I am ruler of the world, I will outlaw all sparkles, body glitter, or glittery lip gloss of any kind. Those found guilty of wearing a glittery substance will be sentenced to death via firing squad. Why do girls find it necessary to cover their body with a substance that gets on you, and sticks to you like it’s been bedazzled to your skin. There have been occasions where sparkles have been discovered 3 months after-the-fact… Are they applied with spackle? I just don’t understand the appeal of them, and I have never met a guy that said ‘That girl is hot, but I wish she had more sparkles in her cleavage!’

Girls love it, though. I think once they have planted the sparkles on their victims, I have heard them say: ‘LOL, OMG…That guy is sooo Pwned!’

Now I am just mad!

MB