Things that Piss Me Off, Vol 3

I know it has been a while...but things have just been really busy for me these days. Between stags, random trips, camping, and visits from friends, I have barely had enough time to breath, let alone make some posts of this blog.

But fear not, I haven't forgotten about this...and even better, the week away has made my head run with a couple good ideas to write about. I have to get this one off the plate first...but I am hoping to have another post up within 48 hrs, and maybe another one just a few days after that.

I will also mention that my next one could be an essay, and could be boring to some people, but it is a topic that has bothered me for a long long time!

In the meantime, please enjoy these things that piss me off.

One more note, please let me know if there are things that piss YOU off that you would like to hear me rant about!

#5) Call Screeners – These are people that avoid your calls by simply not answering. And there are almost three levels to this type of person: 1) Someone that owes me money, or knows that I am pissed at him, so he doesn’t want to talk to me. This is fine. Avoiding my call for this reason is understandable…it just sucks that you don’t have the balls to face the music. 2) The person that is too busy to answer. This is also acceptable, as you will almost always get a call back when the person is available to do so. And finally 3) the person that is avoiding your calls because they know they are doing something wrong, like ditching out on a night out. It’s much easier and better if you would just sack up, pick up the phone and tell me that you aren’t going to make it, rather than just making me madder and madder that you haven’t shown up yet. Is it that damn hard to do? These are the people that piss me off…Is one text even too much? We know you are by your phone!!!

#4) Smokies – Why are people messing with perfection? Hot Dogs are one of the finest foods on the planet, so why do you have to go and ruin it with spices and herbs? Do I take your perfectly cooked steak, and dump crap all over it? NO! You want to enjoy it for its natural, pure taste…(and if you are one of those people that puts Steak sauce or godforbid KETCHUP on a steak, please die!). A hot dog is the definition of pure, and is meant to be left alone. So keep your dastardly spices away from my Dog, and let me enjoy it without the scrutiny of you Smokie fags!

NOTE: Sausage is kept out of this discussion due to the fact that, even though they are similar in shape, they are different animals, no pun intended. Kielbasa can be my friend anyday!

#3) Brit Pop/Rock – It was bad enough when crappy bands came across the pond and poisoned us with their garage band sound, but in the last 10 years there has been a disturbing trend of North American bands adapting the lack-of-production sounding chaos, and calling it their own. In my estimation, it started with that douche Jack White and his insestual sister just hammering crappy chords onto a CD…Somehow these sounds became popular, and it all ‘blossomed’ from there. Copycats added their own spin on it, and the consumers made millionaires out of drug addicted Pete Dourety wannabee’s. And please don’t get me started on Rap or Pop. It could get ugly!

….back in my day…..I feel like an old man.

#2) Telus – I was one of the many quick adopters of the iPhone when it hit Canada in November, but the best part about the move wasn’t getting my hands on a fine piece of technology, it was getting off the evil network known as Telus. I have never been a customer of a company that tried SOOO HARD to piss of their entire clientele base. At no point in my 7 years as a telus customer was I happy, or even remotely pleased with them. Their service is comparable to that at a understaffed hole-in-the-wall pub. Rumors have it that Rogers is just as bad, but I have been dealing with them for 7 months now, and still no bumps in the road. I give Telus my F-You of the week!

#1) Jeopardy Interviews – Like many people I know, I am a big fan of this show…but I unlike most people, I watch the interviews with the contestants just after the first commercial break…I end up in tears every time. Sometimes tears of joy, sometimes tears because said interviews are just so painful. Pay attention next time to Alex (who is a pompous asshole…I will probably write about this in Vol. 4) conducts the interview with contestant number 2, in this case we will call him Robert, and they share a moment swapping stories of the Renaissance Fair from 1986 where Robert proposed to his wife while being knighted by King Bob. Man it was lovely. And that was a waste of my time.